So Really, What Does Love ‘Got’ To Do with it?
by Michelle Lindstrom
This Back Page section is meant for all the fun stuff – stats, quotes, infographics and random information I feel is interesting enough to share. With that in mind and this month being the lovey dovey month with Valentine’s Day in it, and Family Day for some provinces, too, we’ll focus on love and family.
And, since some recent posts have been on the long side, we’ll keep this one short and sweet with a compilation of things that I’ve learned and also what I’ve seen posted on social media sites and in real books (I know, right) that relate to family and love.
First about me: I went back to college for a new career (journalism) when I was 31 and my first daughter was 10 months old. My husband and I lived in a different city than all our immediate family and from that experience I learned a few things about love and family.
– Family doesn’t have to mean a blood relation. Our friends stepped up and helped us out tremendously in all of the chaos we lived in. Nobody threw me a baby shower though, which stung for only a few years … but honestly, good friends are truly family.
– Having my daughter made me love myself more … after I hated myself for a bit first (all that flabby body stuff and dark circles under my eyes from exhaustion and mom stuff). But both my daughters (second one came along four years later) make me check in to see if I’m doing okay. I do a similar thing as what they suggest you do on a plane if it were to crash: make sure you put your oxygen mask on first so you are able to help your children put on theirs. I have to make sure I’m doing okay so I can take care of those amazing beings.
– And in the long journey from school to wherever you can say I’m at now, my husband has been my rock. So acknowledging that and his support are things I have to remember to do because he doesn’t just know that I appreciate him.
All gooey and mushed out, yet? Here are some funny posts I’ve seen on social media recently.
The writer Cheryl Strayed has a book of quotes called Brave Enough that I like to go back to every now and then to re-read the pages that I’ve dog-eared. Here are some of her words related to love and family:
“When it comes to our children, we do not have the luxury of despair. If we rise, they will rise with us every time, no matter how many times we’ve fallen. Remembering that is the most important work we can possibly do as parents.” – Cheryl Strayed.
“Compassion isn’t about solutions.
It’s about giving all the love that you’ve got.” – Cheryl Strayed.
“Fucked-up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not judgments, punishments, or betrayals. They are a purely peaceable thing: the basic principles you identify for yourself that define the behaviours that you will tolerate from others, as well as the responses you will have to those behaviours. Boundaries teach people how to treat you and they teach you how to respect yourself.” – Cheryl Strayed.
Other social media stuff:
And Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls Facebook site posts many inspiring stories, videos, memes and everything else to help build each other up and bring attention to causes and injustices that are going on around us. This is one image from her site that was posted recently regarding mental health and self-esteem:
This month can mean a lot of different things to people. If it’s a reminder that you don’t have a “special someone,” I strongly suggest checking out your city’s activities and get involved in something you like. Or try something new. There are so many free activities or at least the first one is free (many yoga classes are like that), or writer’s circles, paint nights, or mom & baby groups, or some Dad & baby groups are popping up and off-leash parks with you dog are also fun places to just walk and see how silly dogs can be when they meet a new friend. A “special someone” doesn’t make your life perfect, but surrounding yourself with people who care about you and support you will definitely make your life better. The “special someone” will come when he/she is supposed to and it’s usually when you’re not looking.